should i report this to the police or not?

[pickering123]

I split with my partner 4 weeks ago.
I went round to the house to clear my stuff and found that my belongings in one drawer had been replaced with a huge collection of porn.
all the porn dvds and pictures were of teenage girls - some that looked only 14/15.
My ex is 34 and i chatted to him about 2 years ago after finding "teen porn" googled on my computer. now, i look very young for my age (i look about 18/19 and am very slim - hence i have the body of a teenager, but am 27. He said he was ashamed of searching for the porn but did it because i was working all the time, he missed me and wanted to spice up our sex life at the weekends. He's never suggested watching porn together, and i was astonished that he has such a collection as i've never seen it anywhere in the house in the entire 5 years we've lived together!
I also found that his camcorder had been used, and he's been filming the young girl across the road - who is only 18! getting undressed at night.
I really dont know what to do about this, i still love him deep down, but i feel that i've never seen this side of his personality. he is pretty boring when it comes to the bedroom, but the pornography he has been watching absolutely disgusts me! i dont want to report him for fear of the repercussions, but feel i have to!
advice please

[Lovesickidiot]

Hi,

Thank you for your post.

What a horrible position to be in!
How well do we really know each other?
The first thing is that this guy has some sort of illness and furthermore it is very unhealthy.
You found what you know he has but what about if he has more even more serious that you didnt find?
Pornography is about exploitation and is a huge industry.
Even though lots of people are opposed to it the lawmakers have issued a set of guidelines as to what is acceptable and what is not. Underage porn is illegal. Filming someone undressing is also illegal. The next thing could be is he swaping porn across the internet? The question I ask is: while I appreciate the emotional attachment you hold for him, if this person through direct or indirect action is responsible for harming a child, could you live with yourself?
I will be kind to your friend and just say he is ill.
However he has broken the law, who knows how many times? And how deeply he is involved, you will never know?
You have a moral obligation to report him whereby he will be removed from society as the threat he poses. He will also receive help and councelling for his problem. Do not feel guilty as he chose this way of life for himself.
Catholic priests and bishops all over the world could have prevented mass sexual abuse of children by the clergy if only they had carried out their moral duty and reported the purportrators. As a result of their inaction and moral duty several people have been needlessly scared for life.
If anyone is abused by him afterwards and it is later determined that you knew and said nothing, you could be charged with perversing the course of justice, aiding or abetting a criminal or other such crimes and face massive lawsuits from any potential future victims!

You may report him anonomously but you need to do so immediately!
Please be brave

[Harold]

Oh relax. For filming someone undressing he's just going to get some minimal punishment, if any. And teen porn is legal. Actual child porn is not that easy to find - certainly not by googling "teen porn".
I don't mean to say that what he did was totally right, but geez you two make him sound like he's been raping toddlers on a daily basis.

Btw, I would look at it this way: what's in it for me if I call the cops on him? Retribution?
But tell the girl across the road to undress behind closed curtains / in the bathroom.

[faith]

RIGHT ON LOVESICKIDIOT!

Hun, do you have posession of the camcorder now? If so you should take it to the authorities and turn it over! What if he perpetrates a crime against this girl? What he did, in filming her, is stalking imo--and this is only what you know of

If I were you I would atleast notify the police abt him taping the neighbor....I would not go to them with this info--but to authorities--if you tell the girls family they could quite possibly take matters into their own hands and someone could be seriously hurt--if so it he could retaliate on you!

Lemme just add a note here.....for heaven sakes--if I want to walk around my house buck naked am I not free to do so without the neighbors peeping in my windows & taping me? ...do we have to stop building our homes with windows for pity sakes? Cos it's OK for ppl to know no boundaries?.....what next? I do believe that when you're in you're own home--boundaries are inferred--regardless of whether there are windows or not! If we go down the path that sais "blame the victom" then this gal had better not where short skirts, right?

[Harold]

By the way, if you report his private porn collection, he will probably know it was you. Unless someone else knows about it - someone who wasn't told about it by you. And he should trust this other person less than he trusts you, otherwise it won't work either. ("it" referring to "blaming someone else for ratting him out")

[faith]

Thought you might be interested in reading this....it is against the law!

The U.S. House of Representative passed a bill this week that would make video voyerism a federal crime and serve as a model for laws in other states....The bill would make it a crime to "videotape or photograph the naked or underwear-covered private parts of a person without consent when the person has a reasonable expectation of privacy."