Racial Mind bomb

[sadXangel]

Hey guys, i just started getting back out on the dating scene and i met this guy a little while ago, and at first things seemed great, but then a few weeks later, he started saying all these black jokes. I'm black, mexican and native american, and hes asian, i like him alot, but he doesnt know when to stop. Kinda makes me feel like he thinks all blcks are stupid sex freaks, he even calls me an "ebony girl" to see if i get a reaction from it. I am a well educated woman and I can tell when things are not right, but I have been told that I can over react sometimes to little things. Is this a sign of deep down racism or is it just him being funny/ass or just down right horny?

[faith]

Well IMO I'd go for 1 of the last two options! & then I'd love to add my 2 cents worth IMO he is deff a racist! And ignorant

His calling you "ebony girl" this guy has serious POWER issues & that statement would send up a BIG red flag to me! He already makes black jokes--so you know his take on people with darker skin than his own--so how could that not be insulting coming out of his mouth? I'd have a hard time swallowing that he is racist against everyone else--but not you! MOF the next time he sais it why don't you ask--"so does that make me (this) or (that) like in your tasteless jokes?

I had a similar situation arise abt 4 months back & went out on a first date with a guy who started making comments/jokes.....IMO it was embarrasing & when he commented on how well he thought we were getting along I had to speak up!...told him flat out my son and I have many friends who are non-white & therefore he wasn't someone I could go out with again he said he would never say that stuff in front of them--but IMO he wouldn't respect them either Hun that's what I think it boils down too & it really sounds to me that this man is ignorant & what does he have to offer a nice/educated woman--besides his obviously poor upbringing & lack of social skills sounds, to me, that you can do a whole lot better!

[sadXangel]

*sigh* i keep getting the ignorant losers. As soon as we start gettign along, i see how they really are. It's realy crushing my spirits and making me so much more lonlier. He makes the jokes and then makes jokes at himself about asians, but they arent as bad as the black ones he tells.

[faith]

Hun I would just ask him outright if he considers himself to be racist?.....maybe he just lacks social skills & the people in his circle joke like he is? But there is only one way to find out & if you think he may be an alright guy otherwise--and he isn't racists (or so he sais) maybe he'll knock it off?--but if not YUCKO! It just makes people seem so....well dumb! And as though they must lack self-confidence if they have to look to put down someone else--or another group? IMO it's not a far leap from racist to sexist & that would say, to me, that if you aren't his skin color & you aren't his sex--you'd have 2 marks against you in his book!....

I know where you're coming from though--with dating ppl can come out with some of the most shocking stuff!--and just to show how you have to follow the trail of off/racial comments--too sexist as well--I just remembered, the one who made the racial jokes to me--also told me he disowned his son because of his sexual preference his own flesh & blood! can you imagine?

It's good that you're noticing red flags early on just be upfront--give him 1 chance to explain himself & if you don't like what you hear--move on & atleast he knows why you did--maybe he'll learn a lesson?